Confession: I’m somewhat addicted to Apex Legends. I’m kind of trash at it, being a middle aged dude who isn’t usually into multiplayer shooters, but I still love it. Caustic, who Bernard is dressed as in this strip, is one of my mains and I’ve been dying for months to make this joke even though I’m not sure how much overlap there is between Deviant Life readers and Apex Legends players. I hope there’s at least a few and that they find this as funny as I do.
I also enjoyed catching up with Dirty Lola, who was there repping for #open, an awesome sounding dating app that breaks with the modern dating app convention of looking at a picture and deciding from that if you’re interested in someone by actually focusing on people finding each other by shared interests. I’m stoked to give that a try, as appearance is seriously one of the least important factors in whether I want to be romantically involved with someone.
Another highlight was catching the “5 Reasons Why Sex Parties are Important” by Hacienda. As someone who has loves sex parties, and has thrown quite a few, I always love hearing people talk about why they’re so great.
The pulled pork sandwich I bought from the expo’s food vendor was tops.
I didn’t stay very long because I’d run into a lot of issues before making it into the expo that had significantly diminished my spoon pool and the expo was quite crowded, draining them further. I’m glad for the few hours I spent there.
Bernard’s lines in the first panel are taken directly from a text message conversation I had with a partner I was in the figuring out interests and boundaries stage of getting to know each other. I like to use violet wands to ignite isopropyl alcohol on parts of someone’s body, and of course the writer in me sometimes can’t help but try to make things sound as dramatic as possible. This often makes me sound like a more dangerous flavor of mad man than I actually am.
When deciding what Isaac does for a living, it felt like there was a natural harmony between his proficiency at rope bondage (particularly in suspension) and a career in architecture, since an intuitive aptitude for geometry and the distribution of weight seems like they’d be highly valuable traits for both someone designing your house and someone hanging your body from an eye hook.
Because of the process involved in making these strips, it’s not uncommon for me to write a script and send it on to D to do the art and lettering only to get the finished strip back a week later to realize I was clearly in a grumpy ass mood when I wrote it. This is one of those.
I honestly don’t have a problem with monogamy as a conscious choice one makes for themselves, but the monocentric values of our society are so often weaponized against myself and my loved ones. The fact that I’m so open about being ethically non-monogamous, to the point of being a D-list public figure for polyamory, has made it dangerous for people in certain careers or that have children by shitty exes to be openly involved with me. That kind of thing pisses me off and sometime that leads to me taking shots at monogamists I don’t really mean.
I will totally stand by romance as a genre having terrible consent messaging and part of that is its frequent promotion of the toxic possessiveness that less healthy monogamists really lean into. So, I don’t think Bernard is wrong in this strip. I just regret that he didn’t speak his mind more eloquently.
On a side note, I want to thank anyone who contributed to my friend Maddi’s Medical Expense Fundraiser and ask again that any who are able and charitably inclined please contribute. She’s one of the dearest people in the world to me and deeply appreciate anything anyone does to ease her struggle.
Lastly, a plug for the next Stigma Unbound event, Whore Haus on August 23 & 24. If you’re in the NYC area and support sex worker rights, please drop in. There’s a good chance you’ll find me there (though I can’t guarantee it).
I’ve had to field this sort of thing a lot, and my response is pretty much the same. I’ll never regret the good times I shared with someone even if a relationship ends before I wanted to. Yes, I always mourn the end of a relationship, but in the same way I mourn the death of a friend. When a friend dies, I don’t bellyache about how I wish I’d never spent all those years putting time and energy into cultivating that friendship. I cherish the memories we created together, however sad it might make me that we won’t be making more. I don’t see why the end of a romantic relationship should be any different. Time wasted being bitter is time that could be being used to form new connections. I want to always more towards where more love is, not stay stuck in an empty space where love used to be.
There appears to have been a failure of communication here. Some people just like a well crafted endorphin cocktail and others like to push the limits of endurance. Preferences really should be sorted out before play happens, but during play it’s never a good idea to not let your top know when you’ve reached the point you’re not having fun anymore.