I suppose every blog should start out by explaining what it’s about, who is behind it, and why anyone should care about what they have to say.
The Discerning Deviant will be my forum for talking about living a life coloring outside the lines drawn by traditional society in a manner that is healthy and ethical. It’s about drinking deeply of life’s metaphorical wine, but being mindful not to drive while drunk,(metaphorically or otherwise). We only have a certain amount of time to live so you want to make the most of it by living in a way that lets you experience existence in ways that enrich your time on earth and satisfy you rather than the status quo, but you should try not to fuck things up for other people trying to do the same.
While I have no intention of limiting myself in terms of what I’ll write about in this space, I will mostly cover the things I’m most familiar with, which are ethical non-monogamy and alternative sexuality.
As for who I am, I am someone who read too many books as a child and received very little guidance while growing up about how to live outside of those books. To put it mildly, my youth was extremely chaotic and there was never any normal for me. So instead of being indoctrinated into the traditional ideals generally imprinted upon other white males, I found my ideals in stories about people who lived outside the box and did great things, having amazing experiences while doing good in the world they lived in.
Because to some degree I live my life trying to be every hero in every book I ever read, it’s kind of hard to put myself into a box. All the labels that would accurately apply to me to some degree could make a word salad fit to feed the most gluttonous of rabbits for a week. This can be quite inconvenient at times because it takes a better artist than me to draw a clear picture without many strong lines. That’s probably why my profiles on dating sites are so ineffective. At least, that’s what I’m going to keep telling myself so that I can convince myself that it’s not because the celebrity most people tell me I look like these days is Zach Galifianakis, specifically from The Hangover.
Some say that we are defined by what we do. Mostly what I do is work a menial job that pays me too little for how well I do it, which is a pretty sad thing to be defined by. However, when I am actually able to choose what I do some trends do emerge. I soak up all sorts of geeky media. I spend a great deal of time researching and discussing human relationships and other social issues. I drink a lot and hang out with people who set things on fire. I take a lot of pictures. I dream of living in an intentional community primarily populated with artists and work towards making that happen.
So, that’s who I am in a nutshell, which is somewhat appropriate since I’m kind of nuts. Why should anyone care what I have to say about anything? Well, I don’t have any degrees or great achievements to validate my opinions as being of any more value than any random person you pulled off the street. What I do bring to the table is over two decades of experience living my life in a manner that has utterly disregarded the standard social narratives and even the common counter-culture narratives. I’ve never committed myself to any well worn path because I’ve always been willing to cut my own through the brambles when the road I was on turned in a direction I didn’t want to go. I’ve had successes and failures galore because I’ve always been willing to take chances and have learned from all of them. I have never been afraid of looking like an ass. Even in starting this blog, I anticipate that I will have more haters than fans because on a long enough time line I’m sure I’ll get around to pissing off pretty much everyone by not conforming to their world view.
So, if you’re interested in reading the thoughts of a madman that has been called a deviant since he was old enough to speak full sentences and has never accepted “because that’s not what other people do” as reason enough alone to refrain from living exactly how he wants to, then you’re in the right place. Welcome to the Discerning Deviant blog.